Monday, 9 December 2013

12 Days of Christmas

"Jingle bells
Jingle bells
Jingle all the way..."
The popular christmas carol chimed away from somewhere within the apartment.
Standing by the window, I looked out, feeding my eyes with the scene from the busy street. People of different shapes, sizes and colours were splashed all over. Red and green dotted the scenery here and there.

"La la la, la la la , la la la la la...," I started humming the carol to myself.

"Pantax! Pantax!! Come help me with this tree. It is heavier than Rick Ross, Fat Joe and you put together. Hurry! Shapish!" It was Mizkenke calling me to help her move the Christmas tree from the store. I knew better than to waste time arguing a plastic tree couldn't be heavier than all three of us put together. So, I just scampered off to the store and helped her move it to a corner of the living room.

I watched her hang all sorts on the tree. "She really is a Christmas enthusiast," I thought to myself.

"It's going to be a wonderful Christmas," she started as if hearing my thoughts.

"I have all sorts lined up for this period. It's going to be off the shizzle. I'm going to that spa, the one that just opened, to treat myself like the queen I am. I'll also shop for clothes and hair products. I'm tired of extensions, I'll be rocking my short hair this period."

She finished and inspected her work on the tree.

"By the way, there is this very
biriful gown I bought, it would be delivered to me soon. Prepare to have your heart eaten by envy."

She snatched the tv remote from me and changed the channel from Soundcity to Food Network.

"Kenke! Why are you such a bully? You just made me miss Tiwa's performance," I complained.

"I also want to try tons and tons of healthy food recipe," she continued, ignoring me.

"I can't remember all. I wrote them down in my journal. I'll read them to you when I'm done watching this."

I shot her the 'don't even dream of it' look. She didnt see it, she was all focused on tv.

A tv commercial was on. She turned to me, grinning mischievously, "Dele really is a darling. He planned the whole Christmas thing with me. Isn't he the best boyfriend in the world?"

"No, he is a bozo. You have brainwashed the poor fella. Please enjoy your show and leave me!" I screamed at her knowing what she was driving at.

"So much envy. I feel your pain. I told you not to friend zone all those nice guys. I told you karma never forgets. I told you but you wouldn't listen. I'm really sorry for you," She replied sarcastically.

Kenke, she was all out to torture me, as usual. Even after a year of living in the same flat and constant torture, I still wasn't used to it. Throwing a napkin at her, I said, "I already have someone."

"You do? Is he virtual or real? How soon do you plan to friend zone him, Queen of the friend zone?" She replied sarcastically.

I removed my hair band and threw it at her.

"I'll surprise you this christmas. I've found true love. No jokes. My knight in shiny armour riding on a snow-white horse. He is on his way, galloping towards me from the Sahara. He is probably wondering how to surprise me and make this christmas my best yet," I replied with a wink.

"Uhun, uhun," she urged me to continue.

"And I've been thinking, there are 12 things I'll want for christmas that'll totally blow me away."

Fighting the urge to laugh, she said, "blow you away? What are you aiming at? To become shaped like a hippo?"

I threw a pillow at her this time.

Undaunted by her remark, I continued, "Well, I'll draw up a list of the 12 things I want. One for each day of the 12 days of Christmas, like in the carol. Before the year runs out, he'll be outside this house with a truckload of gifts for me. My knight in shiny armour is a Chris Hemsworth clone. With sexy abs, biceps..."

Kenke's outburst cut me off. I felt so ridiculous.

"I'm so not going to meet this knight because he lives in your head. And what's that you were saying about Chris Hemsworth? Like magic he'll know what you have on your list? You are speaking bonkers. You better awake from your slumber, sleeping beauty. Life is no disney fairytale. The only knight that'll come for you is one with shiny golden hair, Bance!"

With that I grabbed a stool and chased her around the house.

The chase was energy sapping. Exhausted, I slumped down in a chair and stared at imaginary stars on the wall. My head was at work trying to decide what and what I wanted for Christmas, what to expect from my Knight. Then I remembered, I was 87mins behind schedule for the Arsenal-Everton match. Moving at the speed of light,I tuned in just in time to catch Ozil shoot the ball. Clenching my fists, I watched the ball head for the net when out of nowhere...

The continuation will be available on Wednesday the 11th. Make sure you return to read what happens next and what I'll want for the 1st day. Thank you for reading.

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